By: Larisa Garski, LMFT
When it comes to dating in the 21st century, it’s a brave new world of apps, websites, and compatibility algorithms all designed to find you the perfect date for right now, forever, and anywhere in between. But getting logged in, signed up, and profiled isn’t as easy as it seems. I often hear from clients that they are experiencing “dating app fatigue.” Put another way: “I’m just so sick of Tinder, Match.com, and – and EVERYTHING ELSE!”
How to Combat Dating App Fatigue
In my work with both men and women, I encourage a mindful practice around dating. Dating both on and off line can quickly take on a life of its own, generating both joy and excess stress. Developing a practice or routine of self-care around dating can help calm nerves and open up space for that new person (or persons) that you’re trying to welcome into your life. Below are 3 ways to take care of yourself while engaging in the fun &, sometimes, frenetic dating process:
- Set time aside just for you: Particularly during the early stages of dating, it can be tempting to be perpetually available for a quick drink, a late dinner, or a midnight movie. But setting aside time to engage in activities that you find personally rejuvenating helps to ensure a balanced dynamic both in the relationship(s) and in your life.
- Pick a few dating apps or websites at a time: It’s common to feel overwhelmed by the numerous dating services quite literally at your fingertips. But you don’t have to juggle multiple profiles across numerous platforms to find a decent date. Focusing on 1-2 platforms can help to minimise the logistical stress of dating while ensuring that you’re really getting a sense of both how to use the app/website and who’s there to potentially meet.
- Breathe: This one sounds simple but it often isn’t. Dating is by nature an exciting process boosting cortisol, firing the endorphins, and causing our cognitions to spin. This excitement can be alluring but it can also be wearing on the mind and the body as we find ourselves constantly thinking “when will I find/meet X?!” or “Why hasn’t X texted me back?!” Taking a step back from the spin helps your body to reset, ground, and creates space for the many other vibrant aspects of your life.
As a therapist who specializes in relationships, I am here to support you during the dating process. If you would like to more information about how I can help, please feel free to call me at 651-764-7277 for a free 15-minute consultation.