Many of us try to prepare ourselves for the life transitions that take place from high school to college, and from college to the “real world,” but many women are not as prepared for the transition that takes place when some of their girlfriends start saying “I do,” and they remain single. The group dynamics start to change, and the focus shifts from planning sushi on a Saturday night to discussion of table linens and rehearsal dinner venues. Many women describe feelings of isolation, loneliness, and often question how to fit into the group and maintain their friendships.
Managing the Transition
In my practice, I specialize in working with women going through any life transition, and this is undoubtedly a common one. Many women are struggling to figure out how to maintain their close friendships when they feel left out of the group. I remind my clients that there are still a variety of topics that you can address with your girlfriends, and there are many ways to contribute your opinion even if you haven’t gone through the same experience. Here are a few quick tips that have been helpful with many of the women I work with:
- Find a way to contribute: Do you have a good eye for design? Can you help the bride-to-be design her reception or help her pick out the most flattering dress? Have you planning a great party or event in the past? What are some unique ideas you have to offer that might be different from someone who has gotten married or is engaged?
- Pick a topic: Although it is important to honor your friends and discuss their upcoming weddings with them, even they might want a break from talking about dresses and flowers and registries. Find a way to talk about other common interests that were part of your typical conversations before wedding talk took over.
- Remember why you enjoy each other’s company: Even if the conversations have changed and life changes amongst your friends seem to be a constant, remember that you are friends with one another for a reason. Why do you enjoy spending time with each other? What activities can you plan with each other that will shift the focus attention to a mutually enjoyable experience?
- This too shall pass: The changes that are part of the regular landscape right now will ultimately become the norm, and things will shift once again. Your group of friends can and will remain intact, and Sunday brunch can be a thing again.
Everyone experiences life changes in different ways, but sometimes they can be difficult to bear alone. I can help you work through your stress and feelings of isolation that often characterize changes in someone’s life. Please feel free to reach out to me at 312-729-5089 for a free 15-minute consultation to learn more about how I can help you through life’s transitions.