Parenting young children is a journey like no other.
It’s filled with love, laughter, and those fleeting moments that make your heart swell. But let’s be honest: it’s also messy, unpredictable, and exhausting. In the midst of the chaos, many parents — especially mothers — find themselves caught in the quiet trap of perfectionism.
Perfectionism in parenting young children can sneak up on you. It tells you that you have to have all the answers, that your home should be spotless, and that your child should always be smiling.
But the truth is, perfectionism is a thief of joy — and it can turn the wonder of parenting young children into a constant cycle of self-doubt and worry.
What are the stages of parenting young children?
Parenting young children unfolds in beautiful, challenging stages. Understanding these stages can help you see that perfection isn’t possible — and it doesn’t need to be.
- Infancy (0-1 year): This is a time of constant change — sleepless nights, endless feeding, and a million tiny milestones. It’s easy to feel like you’re “supposed” to do everything perfectly, but this stage is all about learning and bonding, not getting it all right.
- Toddlerhood (1-3 years): This stage is full of exploration and big feelings. Parenting young children at this age means guiding them through tantrums and teaching them about boundaries — and remembering that it’s okay if your child doesn’t always listen.
- Preschool years (3-5 years): Here, curiosity and independence bloom. Your child wants to do everything “by myself,” and you’re constantly balancing their need for autonomy with keeping them safe. It can feel overwhelming, but it’s also a time of wonder and growth.
Through every stage of parenting young children, perfectionism can rear its head. But remember: each stage comes with its own joys and challenges. You’re not meant to have it all figured out — you’re meant to show up with love and curiosity, even when you’re unsure.
What is the hardest age to parent a child?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer — every family and every child is unique.
But many parents say that the toddler years (around ages 2-3) can be especially challenging. Parenting young children at this stage often feels like you’re navigating a tiny tornado of big emotions and constant testing of limits.
Your child is learning who they are and how the world works, and that can mean lots of “no’s,” power struggles, and messy days. It’s normal to feel like you’re constantly on edge, especially if perfectionism is whispering in your ear.
Here’s what we want you to know: hard doesn’t mean bad. These years are hard because they’re full of growth — for your child and for you. If you’re feeling like you’re drowning some days, it doesn’t mean you’re failing at parenting young children. It just means you’re in the thick of it — and you’re doing your best.
What is the 70 30 rule in parenting?
The 70 30 rule in parenting young children is a gentle reminder that you don’t need to be perfect all the time.
The idea is this: if you’re able to respond to your child’s needs with love and consistency 70% of the time, that’s enough. The other 30%? It’s okay to be imperfect.
This rule is rooted in research on attachment and child development. It shows that children don’t need perfect parents — they need “good enough” parents who are present, loving, and willing to repair when things go wrong.
For those of us wrestling with perfectionism in parenting young children, the 70 30 rule can be a lifeline. It says: you’re allowed to have bad days. You’re allowed to mess up. What matters is that you keep showing up with love.
What are the 3 C’s of parenting?
The 3 C’s of parenting — consistency, compassion, and connection — are like a roadmap for parenting young children. They’re simple, but powerful:
- Consistency: Children thrive on routines and boundaries. Consistency doesn’t mean rigidity — it means creating a sense of safety and predictability in their world.
- Compassion: Parenting young children is messy and imperfect. Compassion means offering yourself the same grace you’d give a friend — and extending that grace to your child as they learn and grow.
- Connection: At the heart of parenting young children is connection. It’s the giggles, the snuggles, the moments when you put down your phone and really see your child. These moments don’t have to be big or perfect — they just have to be real.
The 3 C’s are a powerful antidote to perfectionism. They remind us that parenting young children isn’t about getting it all right — it’s about building a foundation of trust, love, and understanding.
A final note on perfectionism in parenting young children
Perfectionism in parenting young children can be so sneaky.
It can show up as the constant voice in your head that says, “I should be doing more.” It can look like comparing yourself to other parents on social media, or feeling like you’re never enough.
At Empowered Therapy, we see how heavy this can feel. We want you to know: you are enough. Parenting young children isn’t about having a Pinterest-perfect home or a child who never melts down in public. It’s about showing up, loving your child fiercely, and letting yourself be human.
If you’re feeling the weight of perfectionism in your parenting, we’re here to help. In therapy, you can find a safe, gentle space to let go of unrealistic expectations and reconnect with the joy of parenting young children.
You don’t have to carry this alone — and you don’t have to be perfect to be an amazing mom.
Parenting young children is one of life’s biggest adventures. Let it be messy, let it be imperfect, and let it be full of love.