Are You Seeking Marriage, Divorce or Premarital Counseling?
Has the ease and flow you once enjoyed in your relationship been replaced with avoidance and/or irritation? Have you fallen into communication patterns that are shaped by silence, resentment or nagging? Perhaps you’ve been married or partnered for a while, and precious time that used to be reserved for your relationship is now allotted to work, children and other responsibilities. Or, maybe you’re going through a divorce and are seeking guidance on how to separate amicably. It may be that you’re considering getting married and want to clarify and process lingering concerns before you commit. Perhaps unresolved feelings are so built up that you don’t feel comfortable expressing yourself openly or don’t know how to have honest discussions anymore. Or, maybe there has been an affair, and you doubt in your ability to heal and rebuild trust. Do you wish you could cultivate a better understanding of one another and trust in your ability to work through any issue as a team?
Being at odds with your partner or feeling uncertain about the future of your relationship can be a lonely and frustrating experience. The stress of juggling the responsibilities of a family and career with daily responsibilities often leaves people feeling overwhelmed. Add the stress of feeling disconnected from your partner or feeling unsure about the trajectory of your relationship, and your life can begin to feel deeply unfulfilling. If there’s been a breach of trust or you’re going through a divorce, you may not know how to rebuild yourself or the relationship. And, if you and your partner have fallen out of harmony and into a routine of chronic criticism or minimal interactions, you may be close to giving up, questioning if a caring relationship is possible again.
All Couples Struggle
If you’re struggling to connect and communicate effectively with your partner, you are not alone. Roughly 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce, and it’s estimated that 30 to 60 percent of couples experience some form of infidelity during their marriage. Often relationships begin full of love, honesty and eagerness to spend time together. But as more time passes and people change occupations, move, watch their children grow older and experience loss, relationships often get off-track. And, when faced with difficult transitions and external stress, it’s also common for couples to isolate themselves, spending more time on other activities or the Internet than reaching out to one another when they need each other most.
The good news is that there is help and hope to build a healthy relationship with your partner, regardless of what stage of life together you’re in. If you’re going through a divorce, would like to work on your marriage or are considering getting married, an experienced couples therapist can help you identify your specific relationship needs and goals and establish a healthy and strong connection.
Therapy For Couples Can Help You Heal, Rebuild And Create A Unified Path Forward
Couples therapy provides a safe space for you and your spouse, partner or ex to each express yourselves openly and honestly and talk through the concerns that are driving your disconnection or discord. Outside the stressors of everyday life, you can learn and practice strategies that can help you understand yourself and your partner on a deeper, more connected and compassionate level. The more you learn about each other, the easier it becomes to openly share your emotions and get both of your needs met. Although in therapy we will carefully tease apart the patterns that you and your partner have established, couples therapy isn’t just about focusing on what’s not working in your relationship. We can also help you identify your strengths and actively build upon them.
If you and your partner are considering marriage, premarital counseling can help you understand some of the basic components that make up a healthy marriage, especially if you’re worried about how differing values or cultural, religious or familial beliefs will affect your relationship over time. During our sessions together, we can discuss your varied beliefs, ways of handling finances and more, and you can learn how to bring care and stability to these conflicts.
If you’re already married, you and your partner can develop insight into each other’s experience and feel heard and validated. You can gain a new perspective and techniques on how to improve communication and effectively resolve conflict. Throughout sessions, you can engage in couples therapy exercises that can help to heal pent-up emotional pain and support each other’s needs. Together, we’ll work to challenge and reframe the unhealthy patterns that you and your spouse have fallen into. No matter how straining the turbulence has been in your relationship, you and your partner can learn how to forward together as a more connected and unified team.
If you and your spouse have decided to divorce, we can discuss your expectations for the separation in a controlled, neutral atmosphere. If you have children, divorce counseling can be hugely beneficial in making this transition easier on them. We can also discuss your parenting agreement, and arrive at compromises and solutions that work well for you both. Divorce therapy is designed to establish healthy boundaries within your relationship so that you can separate amicably and foster a healthy relationship moving forward.
No matter where you’re at in your relationship, we can carefully look at your dynamic, history and concerns. You can make helpful changes that bring long-lasting care and harmony into your relationship. It’s very common for couples to get off track, but with the guidance and support of an empathic relationships counselor, you can clarify and overcome your issues and move forward with confidence, connection and harmony.
You still may have questions or concerns about couples counseling…
Our problems have been going on for so long. I doubt marriage counseling can help.
If at least one of you is open to the idea that marriage counseling or family therapy can help, there is a lot of hope for instilling positive change. Talking to an experienced couples counselor with an unbiased perspective can help the two of you identify your underlying issues. We can provide specific feedback, guidance and tools that can help you develop insight into each other’s experience and overcome challenges. That said, marital therapy can be useful, but you have to be available and willing to do therapeutic work. Without your commitment to make things better, you may continue to be unhappy or the relationship may end in separation or divorce.
My partner doesn’t want to come to couples counseling.
If your partner is reluctant to join you in sessions, We encourage you to reach out to him or her about your desire to make things better. If your communication patterns are shaped by silence or resentment, the pain of disconnection has likely affected other areas of your life, including your work performance, work-life balance and your relationship with your children. Try explaining to your partner that a few sessions of marriage guidance counseling can help you work through both long held and pressing issues so that they no longer hinder you.
I’ve heard relationship counseling can be expensive.
Although there is a cost involved in this work, couples therapy is an investment in the most important relationship in your life. If your problems remain unattended to, persistent unhappiness can lead to separation or divorce, and divorce can be costly. And, if you’re currently going through a divorce, our rates are much lower than most divorce lawyers. Furthermore, in sessions you can address emotional pain that your lawyer is not equipped to handle, such as how to maintain a relationship for the sake of your children.
You Can Cultivate A Better Relationship With Your Partner, Spouse or Ex
If you’re struggling with relationship problems in the Chicago area and are interested in learning more about couples counseling, we invite you to call 312-729-5089 for a free 15-minute consultation to learn more about our practice and how we can help you.