Signs of Gaslighting
What are the signs of gaslighting in a relationship?
When we talk about signs of gaslighting, we’re usually describing moments where someone makes you doubt your own perception of reality. In relationships, this can show up as a partner twisting the truth, denying something that actually happened, or making you feel like you’re “too sensitive.”
Common signs of gaslighting in a relationship include:
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Denial of facts: They deny conversations, events, or promises.
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Blaming and deflecting: Somehow everything becomes your fault, even when it clearly isn’t.
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Emotional invalidation: They dismiss your feelings with phrases like, “You’re overreacting.”
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Confusion cycles: You start apologizing for things you didn’t do.
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Loss of trust in yourself: You wonder if you’re “crazy” or “making things up.”
Recognizing these signs doesn’t mean you’re overthinking—it means you’re tuned in. Gaslighting thrives in secrecy and self-doubt, so noticing patterns is the first step in breaking free.
How do I know if I’m being gaslighted?
Do I feel guilty most of the time in this relationship?
Do I second-guess my feelings or decisions because of what someone else says?
Do I feel silenced or afraid to speak up?
Do I find myself apologizing constantly, even when I’ve done nothing wrong?
What is emotional gaslighting?
Emotional gaslighting goes beyond denial of facts. It directly targets your inner world—your feelings, intuition, and instincts. Instead of saying, “That never happened,” the gaslighter might say:
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“You’re too emotional.”
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“No one else would react like you.”
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“You’re imagining things.”
These phrases dismiss your lived experience and create shame around having natural emotions. Signs of emotional gaslighting include feeling like your emotions are “wrong” or constantly doubting whether your reactions are valid.
If these resonate, you may be noticing the signs of gaslighting. It doesn’t always start dramatically—it often begins with small comments that slowly chip away at your confidence. Over time, gaslighting can deeply affect your mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, or a sense of powerlessness.
Can gaslighting happen at work or with friends?
Yes. Gaslighting isn’t limited to romantic relationships. It can show up anywhere there’s power, control, or manipulation.
At work, gaslighting might look like:
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A boss denying they gave you instructions, then blaming you for mistakes.
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A coworker twisting events to make you appear unreliable.
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Being told you “misunderstood” every time you advocate for yourself.
With friends, it could sound like:
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“I never said that, you’re imagining it.”
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“If you were really a good friend, you’d…”
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Gossiping about you while denying any harm.
Whether personal or professional, the signs of gaslighting remain consistent: denial, blame, manipulation, and emotional invalidation.
How should I respond to gaslighting?
Responding to gaslighting isn’t about winning an argument it’s about protecting your sense of self. Here are some steps:
- Name it. Privately acknowledge, “This feels like gaslighting.” Recognizing it reduces confusion.
- Document events. Keeping notes or screenshots helps ground you in facts.
- Set boundaries. You have the right to say, “I won’t continue this conversation if my feelings are dismissed.”
- Seek support. Talking with a therapist, friend, or support group helps rebuild confidence.
- Decide next steps. Sometimes this means limiting contact or, if safe, leaving the relationship or workplace.
Remember: noticing the signs of gaslighting is not weakness. It’s strength—and taking steps to respond puts the power back in your hands.
Common Gaslighting Phrases Graphic
Signs of Gaslighting Checklist
- ✔ You often question your memory of events
- ✔ You feel like you’re “too sensitive” or “overreacting”
- ✔ You find yourself apologizing constantly
- ✔ They deny things you know happened
- ✔ You feel confused, “crazy,” or invalidated around them
- ✔ Your emotions are dismissed, mocked, or minimized
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